The other day I asked Mom what she wanted to do. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" I was frustrated. I wanted to know what she wanted to do. It wasn't about what I wanted to do. How could I make her happy if she didn't tell me what she wanted? I realized that at least part of the problem was that she didn't know what she wanted. Maybe another part of it was being afraid to say what she wanted.
This sounds way too familiar. Isn't this exactly how I relate to God? I'm afraid to say what I want. I say, "Whatever you want, God, that's what I want." It sounds so pious. But, He says, "No, what do you want, Pauline?" Or maybe I don't really know what I want, so I want Him to just tell me what He wants me to do.
I believe that as we seek God He puts longings and desires in our hearts and He wants to fulfill those for us, but He also wants us to realize and express the desires of our hearts so that we know, as well as Him, what it is we really want.
Christmas and birthdays can be hard because I often struggle to know what gift to give a person. However, I LOVE to get/do something for someone when I know it's something they really want!
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matt.7:11
