It's Okay to Cry

Recently I met with a small group of friends and came away feeling "missed". When I thought more about it, I realized that I had told myself, I don't want to cry, and, therefore, avoided talking about the things that I was really feeling/facing that week. 

Crying makes me feel vulnerable. It can be hard to explain. People often don't know what to do with it and sometimes, neither do I. 

This past week my nephew, Justin, and his girlfriend, Sarah, came for a brief visit.

I cried when they came and I cried when they left. When I thought about it, I realized I hadn't seen my sister or any of her family for over 2 years (partly due to COVID) and what a loss that was for me. 

Yesterday I heard this song, When We Fall Apart, for the first time on the radio, and today I took time to listen to it more closely. "It's okay to cry...you don't have to try to be strong when you are not..."

I've tried for so long to hold it all together, to be strong, to be there for others, to pretend everything's okay even when it's not... But now...I'm hearing the Father say: It's okay to cry. I am here to hold you and to carry the pain. 

Psalms 56:8 says he puts all our tears in a bottle. If He is okay with crying, I guess I am, too. 

Whatever you're facing today, I pray that you can find the healing power in tears. Give yourself permission to cry. It's okay.

Bringing Beauty Back

Some seasons feel dry and barren, alone and empty, like you're walking in a desert with burning sand beneath your feet. All feels hopeless, there is no water in sight. You can't see where you're going but still you blindly plow ahead, for moving is important to survival. 

I recently found myself in one of these seasons and then...it began to rain... At first only a drop here or there. A red-winged blackbird sitting on a fence, ice cream with a cherry on top, sun breaking through the clouds, supper on the porch or an email from a friend, "Missed you on Sunday!"

One night I awoke in the wee hours of the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Finally I switched on my lamp and opened my Bible. My eyes fell on these verses:

"And they shall be my people and I shall be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever...I will not turn away from doing good to them...I will rejoice in doing them good and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness...I will bring upon them all the good that I promise them."

Jeremiah 32:38-42 ESV

And more and more "good things" have been coming my way. One Sunday I was feeling low and thought I'd just slip in the side door, not talk to anyone and find a quiet corner to sit by myself. But...a friend saw me and came and sat with me. I hadn't realized how much I needed that and thanked her afterwards. When talking about it later to some other friends  the one said, "Nope! Not happening!" and has made a point ever since to sit with me. 

Yesterday I met a friend in Buhler. We had a leisurely lunch at "The Mustard Seed" and then wandered across the street to "Grand Staff Thrift Boutique". The original plan was to hit the city-wide yard sales but by the time we got around to that they were mostly done. Oh well, spending time with a friend was the main thing. Before we parted she gave me this beautiful plant!

Church was so good again today - worship, rich spiritual food from the book of Ruth, connecting with friends. And when I got home my dear sister had this beauty waiting for me.

Thank you, Father, for the beauty in my life - flowers, friends, and most of all your abundant love and goodness you so lavishly pour out! How great is the goodness of God! It's there, every day. Open my eyes to see!