There is a song that has been on repeat for me for the last several months. It is called "Make Room". You can listen to it here. I have been intentionally leaning in to hear what He is saying, especially in situations that feel hard and I don't understand. Right now there seem to be a lot of those.
Sometimes it can feel like I'm in the same place for a very long time. This isn't necessarily bad. If you look at the story of the Israelites you will see that their journey through the wilderness wasn't on a certain time schedule. They didn't walk 20 miles every day, for example. It says in Numbers 9:23 "At the command of the Lord they camped, and at the command of the Lord they set out." It was about listening to what God was saying, not the amount of ground covered. Just because I haven't progressed to a certain point doesn't mean that there aren't important things taking place in my heart, and these may be the very things that will prepare me for the "promised land".
This morning I felt like there was so much "stuff" I wanted to talk to God about that REALLY NEEDED ANSWERS! You know, that desperate kind of feeling. But I sensed that He just wanted to sit with me. And I needed that. To know that I'm valued, wanted, worth His time, that He is with me and I'm enjoyed and delighted in. And then, after awhile, He looked at me with eyes of love and started talking in His kind, gentle way. These are some of the things He said (now He was the one asking questions!), "Pauline, do you just want answers to your questions so you can get on with life and don't need me? Do you enjoy our relationship?" And then he said, "Just because something is delayed doesn't mean that it's not important, it might be because of its importance that it is delayed." (Isn't it amazing how He knows what we are thinking?!)
Delays are hard. They can make me angry and bitter and less than happy. But even in that I want to make room for what He is doing. I might only get a glimpse now but someday it may make more sense. And even if I never understand, I still know that He is ALWAYS working for my good and the work He started He will bring to completion.
Make room for Him today...
