When God Says No

Last night, after the temperature had dropped to a comfortable degree, my sister and I were sitting on the front porch talking. We were discussing dreams. I love how God speaks through dreams! It just takes a bit of time and effort and an openness to "hearing", through the Holy Spirit, what God is saying. I have also found that it can be very helpful to discuss dreams with other people who are Spirit-filled and can help you see a different perspective.

I had been asking God for direction concerning a job/ministry opportunity. At first I was really excited about the job and I thought it was an answer to prayer. Later, I started to question it because of all that was involved in actually obtaining the position. Was this really where God wanted me to focus my time and energy? Would it keep me from having the time/energy I needed for what I already had on my plate? Most importantly, would I have time to pursue God?

I struggled a few days with these questions and others, trying to figure out a way to make things work. I only ended up feeling frustrated. Finally, when I was really ready to hear, God showed me, through this dream, that this is a closed door and I need to give it up.

I felt a pang of disappointment, for it was something I really wanted to do. However, following that I felt incredible peace and joy and thankfulness to God. First of all, for showing me so clearly the answer so that I could move ahead with confidence. Secondly, that he cared enough about me and my life to take the time to help me understand what it was I really wanted. And thirdly, I felt dearly LOVED!

I recently heard it said that your faith is strengthened when you keep giving God glory even in the midst of disappointments. I think I'm beginning to understand what that means. I don't know why this door was shut for now, but I know God is totally trustworthy and he is working on my behalf.

For His glory,
Pauline

I Can Only Imagine

"I Can Only Imagine"

I can only imagine

What it will be like

When I walk

By your side

I can only imagine

What my eyes will see

When your face

Is before me

I can only imagine

[Chorus:]

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

When that day comes

And I find myself

Standing in the Son

I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever

Forever worship You

I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever, forever worship you

When I heard the news today that my friend of many years had passed away, my heart was wrung with grief, but then I heard this song "I Can Only Imagine" playing. How can a person feel sad and happy at the same time? To think of her dancing in heaven with Jesus brought tears to my eyes. 

She was young...too young to die, and yet, she had suffered for many years and endured constant pain.

My mind went back to the time that I knew her. It was a hard, difficult, lonely time when I was far away from family and friends. She often called. She made me laugh. She loved to play "Phase 10". She always kept up with the latest Bill Gaither cd's and videos. We went blueberry picking together. She shared her favorite recipe for Christmas cookies. She always tried to spank me on my birthday or...get someone else to do it. She teased me about finding a "man". 

It's hard to believe I will never talk to her again but I'm so glad she is finally free from pain. I will always treasure the memories and I thank God for sending her when I needed a friend.

Time With Me

Recently I heard the story of a man who had a dream. In the dream (Jack) walked out of a building and his Dad was there and offered to give him a ride to his car. (Jack) protested, saying that his car was only a block away and he didn't need a ride. The Dad insisted, so finally (Jack) got in. They drove around for awhile and finally (Jack) realized it was an hour later and they still weren't to their destination. He felt frustrated about it taking so much longer than would have been necessary. Shortly, thereafter, they got to the place where they had started and he got out and started walking to his car, which was still a block away. As he was walking, everything went dark. (Jack) then heard God saying that that is how he was treating Him. He didn't care about the journey, he just wanted to get to his destination as quickly as possible.

The important thing isn't getting to my destination, even if it is some big, important ministry. Sometimes God takes me the long way around, simply because He wants to spend more time with me.

After being without a job for nearly 3 months, this struck pretty close to home. Wow! Is that why it's taking so long? How often have I thought, If only I could find a job, I could get on with my life? But getting a job is not the focus. My focus has to be on Him.

I must say, these last few months have been like nothing I've ever known before of spiritual refreshing, renewal and reveling in spending time with God (lots and lots and lots of time that I never had before). A time of stretching my faith to unknown limits, proving His trustworthiness and providing financially in the most amazing, unusual ways.

I honestly can't say that there haven't been times of tears & frustration, whining & complaining, doubt & fear and feeling alone & forsaken, but I wouldn't trade this time with Him for the world.

Delighting in being a daughter of the King and that He wants to spend time with me,
Pauline

Special Verses

Jeremiah 1:12 "The Lord said to me, 'You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.' " (NIV)

Isaiah 49:6 "He (God) says: It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth." (NIV)

Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (KJV)

Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." (NIV)

Birds

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Matt. 6:25a & 26

Last night I was listening to a sermon by Andy Stanley titled "Why Worry". He was talking about this passage in Matthew 6 where it says to look at the birds. So I said to God, "Please show me the birds."

By this morning I had totally forgotten that request. It was around noon when I happened to glance out the window and I did a double-take. Birds. I did say birds, didn't I? I looked again. Yes! There were birds. Not just one or two. LOTS of birds! Dozens of birds! They were sitting all over my driveway and yard. They were pecking in the dirt for food.

Now you must understand, my place is not very bird-friendly. I don't have many trees and no bird feeder or bird bath that would attract them. I very seldom see birds around my place.

But here they were. As I continued to look out my kitchen window, I saw more and more and more flying in from the east. By the dozens! They alighted on the ground and joined the others searching for food. They weren't particularly flashy or pretty, just plain brown or black, probably lots of sparrows that many people would consider pests.

Tears streamed down my face as I recalled my prayer of the previous night. God sent me those birds. He was telling me that he is taking care of every single bird and will he not take care of me? Am I not much more valuable than they?

I watched the birds until a car drove in and scared them away. As I opened the door I heard the sound of singing... many birds singing. My heart was singing, too!

Faithfulness

I was reminded again this morning of the faithfulness of God.

Deuteronomy 7:9 says: "Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments."

God is faithful but am I? What does it mean for me to be faithful??

As I was pondering these questions, here are a few things that came to me:

1. Believe...that He loves me.
2. Walk...in the truth He shows me.
3. Hope...in His promises.
4. Delight/rejoice...in His goodness.
5. Keep...my heart for Him alone.

I wish I could say I do all of these all the time. I don't. I often fall far short. I get distracted with other things. I think He doesn't really care. I see His goodness for other people but for me?? Really? For me?

"To the faithful you show yourself faithful..." 2 Samuel 22:26a (NIV)

Maybe the problem isn't with God's faithfulness...maybe it's with mine...

New Beginnings

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived  no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." Isaiah 64:4 NIV

A new year...a fresh start...

God is doing mighty things. Don't miss what He is doing. Keep your heart and mind wide open and expect to receive good things from Him. Even more than good things, He wants to bless you with Himself... His very presence, ever present in your life, guiding and directing, watching over you with tender, compassionate, unfailing love.