He Speaks Peace...

 The day felt long and I was tired. Thoughts of a quiet, undisturbed evening at home, kept me going through the afternoon. The 5:00 o'clock bell rang and I raced out the door and headed for home. My hopes were dashed as I saw the plumber's truck in the driveway. I knew they were planning to come replace our water heater but I thought they would long be done by 5. Oh well, I thought, they are probably just finishing up. But, no! they were only just beginning! 

The space in my apartment is quite compact, at best, and they were effectively blocking my kitchen and bathroom, with droughts of cold air blowing in the open door. This was NOT what I had in mind! I felt decidedly grumpy and wanted to sit down and cry. Instead, I went upstairs to lament my woes to my sister's listening ear. She was quite sympathetic and suggested going out for supper. Even that didn't cheer me as much as you would've thought and I found myself grumbling and complaining the whole way. 

When we returned some time later, what was my dismay to see the plumber was STILL there! I couldn't believe it! Grumbling and complaining even more I went with Ann to work on the puzzle. Normally, I love puzzles but tonight my heart wasn't in it. 

At long last the water heater was installed, the placed cleaned up and I was free to return to my own abode. All I could do was sit down and have that good cry. When, at last, the tears began to subside I took up my Bible and journal. It was then I realized that what happened that evening was only a culmination of disappointments I had felt earlier that day. This was only a "small" thing but the others were quite significant. Things that didn't seem to have any answers no matter how much I prayed and came back to haunt me time and again! 

And then God reminded me of the story of Lazarus' death in John 11. I'm not going to tell the whole story here (you can read it for yourself) but only a few things he highlighted to me. Lazarus' sisters asked Jesus to come because he was sick but he didn't show up till after Lazarus died! And then he came and asked them to show him where they had laid him. I would've said, "No, it's too late! It STINKS and I'm not going there again! I asked you to come and you didn't. Why do you want to look at it now??"

Our deepest disappointments are when it feels like God didn't come through for us, but that is the place he wants to go with us so he can speak and bring life. 

What about you? What is your deepest disappointment? Take Jesus there and let him speak into that place. Listen closely, for what he says will surprise you. 

And always, always...he speaks peace...

My 1st Birthday Card

 

A few months ago my cousin was going through some of her mom's things and found the birth announcement my mom had sent when I was born. I was delighted that she stuck it in the mail and sent it to me! It feels extra special since mom is no longer with us. This is how it reads inside:

Name: Pauline Marie

Date: January 2, 1970 at 1:12 p.m.

Parents: Dan & Betty Schrag

Weight: 8 lbs. 3 1/4 oz. and 19 inches long

First baby in 1970 at McPherson County Hospital.

I loved the personal note Mom wrote on the back to her good friend and sister-in-law: "Baby has quite a bit of dark hair...we named her after Grandma Schrag - both names are also middle names of my sisters."

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In the last 50-some years I have received many beautiful cards and well-wishes from family and friends. More recently it is posts on Facebook, texts or e-cards. I love them all, but still there is a special place in my heart for that 1st sweet little card announcing to the world:

"Our Baby is Here!"

He Weeps With Us

 The other day I was feeling the heaviness of the world situation and the coronavirus that seems to be running rampant. As I went about my work I was asking God about it and wondering if he even cares or why doesn't he DO SOMETHING about it??!!

Shortly thereafter, I found myself singing an old hymn, that I hadn't thought of in a long time, "Does Jesus Care?" Here is a snatch of it:

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained,

Too deeply for mirth or song,

As the burdens press, and the cares distress,

And the way grows weary and long.

Oh, yes, he cares, I know he cares,

His heart is touched with my grief,

When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,

I know my Savior cares.

I felt the Father's heart weeping over his people and in that moment I KNEW that He does care! 

I was reminded of the story of Lazarus in John 11. His sisters asked Jesus to come because he was sick, but Jesus didn't get there till after he had died! They thought he was too late! And it says, "Jesus wept." John 11:35. But then, he proceeded to raise Lazarus from the dead!!

He has not forgotten us, he is not too late, and that resurrection power is still good today! Hallelujah!!

The Gift

 The day started much as any other, as I headed to work under a bright blue sky. I found my place and dived into the piles of work that had accumulated over the weekend. It didn't feel like I was making much progress as more and more things were added to the stack. I sighed rather wearily. 

About mid-morning an elderly couple walked in the front door. I greeted them and asked, as I do, who they were looking for and what was their name. My ears perked as I heard the name "Schrag"! "Oh!" I said brightly, "that's a good name. I'm a Schrag, too!" Now their interest was piqued. "Are you Dan's daughter?" the man asked, "I'm his cousin!"

They moved on to do the business for which they had come to Sturdi-Bilt as I sat there smiling and musing to myself. I really must talk to them some more, I thought. I stepped outside for some fresh air and just as I was coming in the side door, they were exiting the front. I ran after them waving my arms. 

The next 15 minutes were quite delightful as Cousin Mervin told me family history. He was Uncle Pete's boy, one of 11 children, and they grew up a half mile from Dad's boyhood home. He recalled pleasant memories of working with Dad and said more than once how kind and gentle he was. I somehow felt refreshed as I headed back to work.

Musing about it later, I thought, What a gift! For you see, today, would have been Dad's 99th birthday! It felt like a little bit of him came back to comfort me. Thank you, Jesus!

My Biggest Fear

 One Sunday evening some friends and I sat on the front porch discussing life. Of course, the pandemic and related issues came up for discussion. We were talking about some of our fears that had surfaced. It was only later that I realized what my biggest fear is. 

It's not really about what happens in the world, whether it's famine or flood or economic collapse, who wins the election or whether war breaks out. It's not even about the end of the world. 

What I want to know more than anything is that I'll be taken care of. And I know One who does take care of His own.

As Psalms 33:18 says:

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine."

I find myself continually going back to Him, straining my ears to hear what He is saying, keeping an open heart to what He is doing, asking for light for the path. 

One morning this week He highlighted to me the story of Abraham where God asked him to sacrifice his only son, Isaac. At the last minute God provided a ram so Isaac didn't have to die. 

And it says, "...on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided." 

Genesis 22:14b. 

I was asking God what the "mountain of the Lord" is for me and He said that it is the place of obedience and sacrifice. Wow! It's in that place of obedience that I experience provision. 

It's not that I never battle fear, believe me, I've had my share of it, but there is that underlying confidence in my Father and His ability and power to take care of me. 

He's Waiting...

...to answer your prayer.

As I drove to church yesterday morning it was with a sense of anticipation and expectancy. I had not been there for several weeks, for a variety of reasons.

I pulled into the parking lot and a sense of fear gripped me. That ugly, dark, unrelenting monster that had tried to pull me down and keep me isolated and alone, especially in the last few months. I had arrived a few minutes early, so I just sat there for a bit, battling the desire to turn tail and run. "No!" I told myself sternly, "you are NOT going home!" Just then I saw a friend heading for the front door and I hurried to join her. (It's always friendlier with two!)

We walked on in, where I saw two other friends chatting. They warmly welcomed me as I moved on in to find a seat.

The songs and worship time was refreshing and encouraging and the Presence of God was there. It was followed by a Spirit-filled sermon that touched my heart, where new truths were brought out. At the end Pastor Eric invited anyone to come forward who needed prayer. I knew that was me. (I'm not very brave when it comes to such things but when you get desperate enough for God, you just do it!)

He invited another friend to come join us in prayer and the tears flowed as I felt the touch of God through them. Such love and compassion and the heart of Jesus. Words of life and healing spoken over me. She prayed for the fear and for divine connections to ease the loneliness.

I made my way to the back of the church and stopped to talk to another lady who, in the course of our conversation, asked me if I'm in a small group. (This is something I've been praying about for some time.) She also had been praying/longing for a good group. We laughed and cried and couldn't believe how good God is. I suggested another family we might ask to join us and it was someone she had already been wanting to connect with, too!

Driving home the tears continued to fall...happy tears, thankful tears, tears that told of God's goodness. I knew I was meant to be there that day.

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Some answers to prayer come quickly and others take years. But He has not forgotten! Don't believe it for a minute. At the perfect time He WILL step in and you will KNOW that He is God. Don't underestimate His power to give you the desires of your heart. He loves you much more than you know!

Deeper Still

The way seems long, 

the night is dark, 

the suffering hard, 

the end I cannot see. 

The pain is deep, so deep. 

And through the dark I hear His voice, 

"My LOVE is deeper still."