Whether Here or There

Ann was working today so I had the privilege of eating lunch with Mom.

I'm not sure she even realized it was something unusual for me to be there instead of Ann. She knows who I am and that I don't live there but it can be confusing if I'm there when Ann isn't. She loves watermelon and I gave her a fairly large piece, which she thought she could handle. However, before she was done she said, "I think I might have to save some of this for later." But there was still room for a chocolate chip cookie, another of her favorites.

Today she willingly helped with dishes. Mom was never one to shirk her duty where dishes were concerned but more recently she sometimes leaves the table after a meal and goes to lie down, not even remembering there are dishes to do.

When the last dish was put away, she eagerly said, "What would you like to do?" I decided there wasn't anything at home that couldn't wait and told her to get out a game. I could've guessed which one it would be.

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This week marked the 2nd anniversary of Dad's passing. A dear friend remembered and brought me flowers at work that day - my favorite color with a sweet little note!

Today I walked past "Absolutely Flowers" and was reminded of the last time I was there - 2 years ago to buy flowers for Dad's casket. 

Although I still miss him, I wouldn't wish him back, for I know he is happy and free. 

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Whether here or there I will always love them!

I'm In a Hurry and Don't Know Why

I’m In a Hurry

by Alabama

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

Don't know why
I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do 0 to 60 in 5.2

Can't be late
I leave plenty of time
Shaking hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock

I hear a voice
That say's I'm running behind
I better pick up my pace
It's a race
And there ain't no room
For someone in second place.

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

(Disclaimer: I'm not promoting this group but this song has some pretty good food for thought.)

I have never really enjoyed shopping that much. I realized recently that I am often in a rush when I go. It doesn't matter if I have something else to do or any earthly reason to get home. I just want to get my shopping done and get out of there! This causes a lot of stress and frustration, especially when I get in a long checkout line or can't find a parking spot or the person in front of me is dilly-dallying around. It also blinds my eyes to divine appointments and opportunities that God might have for me to interact with people. 

It doesn't stop with shopping. I jump out of bed in the morning, spend a few minutes with God and gobble some breakfast before rushing off to work. I hurry to do this and that and the other thing before something else is thrown at me. At lunch time I sit down to grab a few bites, hurriedly saying a prayer, even as the first bite reaches my mouth. I rush home from work and slap together a quick supper so I can sit around wondering what to do all evening.  

On Sunday I go to church but have to rush home afterwards to quickly eat lunch so I can take a nap and wonder what to do the rest of the day. 

I used to laugh at Mom for clearing off the table before we were even done eating. I don't laugh quite as loudly anymore, for I fear I am more like her than I wish. 

But I AM learning to slow down. To really "live". To enjoy the moment. Savor time with people. Stay up late if it means connection. Play with the kittens. Watch the sunset. Smell the flowers. Listen to His heartbeat. 

Don't be in such a hurry to die that you forget to live.

Keep Asking

A storm was brewing and everyone was in a hurry to leave work that day. I was no exception and jumped in my car with thoughts of getting home quickly. There was a sinking feeling as I turned the key in the ignition and it only buzzed. I quickly grabbed one of the guys to help me before they all disappeared. Charging the battery didn't seem to help so a couple guys quickly rolled it into the shop, where it would be safe from the storm, and I took him up on the offer to go home with him till the storm passed.  

We found his wife and kids and another friend and her kids huddled in a bedroom in the basement. Tornadoes had been spotted and were heading our way. An hour or so later when we emerged from the basement, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. We were very glad the storm had passed us by without significant damage.  We went back to check on my car and it miraculously started! I went on home with a happy heart. 

But this was only the beginning of numerous incidents of my car randomly not starting. It happened 2 weeks later and only started when I was told to step on the brake. It ran for a day and the next evening wouldn't start. That time I got it started by shifting gears. After 2 weeks of it running smoothly, I was starting to relax, and then it happened again! I had read that the security system can cause issues with Chevy Impalas randomly not starting so I turned off the alarm system and it started right up. Two days later, as I was leaving work, I heard the, now familiar, buzz. I felt I was supposed to ask a co-worker to help me and he got it started after much shifting of gears. 

I don't know what is wrong with my car. It still isn't fixed but this is what I am learning. There were 5 times my car wouldn't start. Every time God showed me what to do, but every time it was something different. And the next time it didn't start, the word from the previous time didn't work. 

God works differently in every situation. What worked last time might not be for this time. Keep listening and he will show you. There is fresh manna every day. You can't save it up from one day to the next. Do you know why? He doesn't work by formulas. He wants relationship. He wants us to keep asking!

Keep your ear pressed against his chest to hear his heart for you!

Of Phone Cases and Proverbs 31 Women

For some time I've been wanting to get a case for my new phone. Today seemed to be the day to sit down and take a look at what's out there.

As I soon as I saw it, I knew... it was mine!

And God said, "This is who I am calling you to be, Pauline." 

Instead of shame and disgrace he gives me strength and dignity. Anxiety and worry are replaced with no fear of the future because I KNOW my God and my life is safe in his hands. 

I've often heard women say they don't like the "Proverbs 31" woman. She sounds unrealistic and unattainable. How could they ever measure up? But I've secretly liked her ever since I found the verse (22) that says, "...she is clothed in fine linen and purple." (As some of you know, purple is may absolutely best color!)

Verses 11 and 12 are also a goal of mine. They read, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm all the days of his life."

These are not things I do, but it is God's work in me. 

And as I sat here typing I looked out my window and saw this:

As if he was parting the clouds and giving me a glimpse of what is beyond...

Freedom - Part 2

Now my debt is paid

It is paid in full

By the precious blood

That my Jesus spilled.

Now the curse of sin

Has no hold on me

Whom the Son sets free

Oh is free indeed!

As we sang this song in church Easter morning, I felt a fresh touch from God. The power and presence of God was so strong in that place! And Pastor Eric shared a powerful sermon, never mind that it was the 3rd one that morning!

I LOVE how God shows up! He doesn't have to come, but He always does. May my heart be open to see Him.

You can listen to this song here.

Freedom...

...is walking in confidence in who I am in Christ, not living in past failures and believing I've been forgiven.

Yesterday morning this verse was highlighted to me:

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

As I was listening for the umpteenth time to the prophetic word given to me at the beginning of the year, here was this verse again!

Then last night at Missional Communities we were talking about what the blood of Jesus does for us. The leader was giving out references of verses for us to read. I offered to read this one, not knowing what it was. Revelations 1:5 "To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood."

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I love the phrase of this song, "You don't have to come, but you always do..."

This week had some very difficult things, not the least of which was the funeral of a 10-year-old boy. But even in that, God was there.

I choose today to walk in the life and freedom He has given me!

Golfing

I've been out golfing! (Well, sort of...)

Sturdi-Bilt recently purchased a golf cart for the purpose of driving interested parties around the premises to view our buildings. Although I am not a salesman, I thought it looked like jolly good fun to take a ride and was watching for an opportunity! The other day it came! I was showing the new girl how to do fire extinguisher checks. The fire extinguishers are scattered far and wide across the grounds so we took the opportunity to take the golf cart for a spin. 

Wow! It's amazing what a small thing can do to lift your spirits and brighten your day! You're never too old to learn something new! 

What new thing will you try this week?

P.S. BTW, for you locals, I have it firsthand that there is a new mini-golf course going in, in Hutch! Anyone up for a game??