Forget the Former Things

This morning when I asked God for a verse, He gave me these in Isaiah 43:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." vs. 18-19

When I opened Bible Gateway for the "verse of the day", it was these same verses.

Later on Facebook in my memory feed was a memory from 4 years ago with these verses.

At church this morning the pastor read from Philippians 3 about forgetting what is behind and pressing on towards what is ahead.

I'm asking God what that means for me. What are the things from the past that are important to let go of and leave behind? What are the new things that He is wanting to do for me?

Waiting on God's Timing

Waiting isn't one of my strong points. It may take me awhile to know what I want, but when I do, I want it NOW! But...that's not how God works. He shows you what you want and then he prepares you to receive it. Sometimes that feels mean and cruel and it may take a year or 20 or even 40!

At the beginning of this year I was hoping to take a vacation. I didn't know when it would work out but I thought that, surely, in a year's time it would work out somewhere. But there was one thing after another that foiled my plans. The other part-time secretary quitting in February, causing extra work. Training in the new secretary, dragging on for months. Numerous summer vacations of fellow workers making it necessary for me to stay. I knew that fall was out because the Kansas State Fair is our biggest selling time of the year.

At last I sighed and said, "I guess I'm not supposed to have a vacation this year," and I just gave up even trying to figure it out.

Then the other week I was out walking with my sister and she said, with conviction, "I think you should go visit Sarah (our other sister) for Christmas!" I hadn't really even thought of it but I liked the idea. The next day I checked out one-way tickets to Ottawa. Amazing price! Not every detail is worked out yet, but the ones that are, have fallen into place without a hitch.

To say I'm excited would be an understatement. I haven't been there for 5 years. It's not that I haven't wanted to go and tried to make things work out to do so, but the timing just wasn't right. But now it is and I'm so excited to see what God is going to do!

When the timing is right, you will know. He gives His peace and does more than you could ask, think or imagine!

Overwhelmed

²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?

    Why do you say, Israel,

“My way is hidden from the Lord;

    my cause is disregarded by my God”?

²⁸ Do you not know?

    Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

    and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31 (NIV)

So often I feel forgotten and overwhelmed with work and my problems. The question came to me the other day, What if, instead of being overwhelmed with my problems, I would be overwhelmed with God's love? 

It's not that He isn't doing it. It's a matter of perspective. I asked Him to show me new things and He is but that may be material for another post. 

How about you? Ask Him to overwhelm you with His love!

Sitting Alone

The other day God said to me, "Sometimes it's okay to sit alone."

I often try to avoid it because it can feel uncomfortable, scary, vulnerable and painful.

One evening this week I was out shopping. I wanted a sandwich but wasn't sure I wanted to sit in a restaurant by myself so I thought maybe I would go through the drive-thru and take it home to eat. I pulled into Arby's and there was a long line at the drive-thru. I thought to myself, It would be faster to go in and order. I still wasn't sure if I was going to take it home or not but when the cashier asked if it's "for here" or "to-go", I heard myself saying, "For here".

I found a seat where I could look towards the west and admire the beautiful sunset. I decided to leave my phone in my purse and just sit there observing people and talking to Jesus. The turkey sandwich and curly fries went down pretty good. I had this feeling that I should thank the manager for the good food and service. It didn't sound that hard and the place was nearly empty but still it seemed like a pretty nervy thing to do.

I felt nervous and scared as I gathered up my trash and headed for the front counter. I timidly asked if I could talk to the manager. He soon appeared, wondering, I'm sure, what was wrong. When I thanked him for the good food and service he wasn't quite sure what to say. He asked if I had my receipt and said I can fill out a survey and enter to win $1000, then wished me a good night and I walked out.

As I drove home I prayed that God would use it. I didn't care about winning $1000. That's not what it was about. It was about hearing God and obeying and then believing He would use it.

I knew God wanted me to sit in at Arby's that night even though it would've been easier to go home. A new song was playing on the radio, as I was driving home. It was called "Control" and the phrase that stood out to me was this, "...God you don't need me but somehow you want me..."  I wept as I felt all the stress and tension of the past days, weeks, months and years drain away.

If it means making time and space to hear God, I'm willing to sit alone.

Loved In the Learning

 Sometimes I get to the end of my day and think, I didn't do a very good job ...

And then I go over the long list in my mind. How I snapped at that person, grumbled about extra work, sighed when the phone rang for the 137th time, complained about all my problems, wondered why others aren't doing their work like they should. Or misapplied a payment, missed making an invoice and printed 100 of the wrong brochures. Then I withdraw into my shell and hope no one notices the tears trickling down when I return from lunch break.

And I feel ashamed and embarrassed to even talk to Jesus about it, but He comes and lifts my chin, looks me in the eye and says, "It's okay, Pauline. It's all part of the learning and I love the learning."

When a child is learning to walk the Mom sets him on his little feet and then runs across the room, crouches down and with a big smile says, "Come! You can do it!" The child takes one tottering step and tumbles to the floor. Does the Mom scold the child and tell him he should've done better? No! She claps her hands with delight, rushes over and tells him what a good job he did, sets him on his chubby legs again and says encouragingly, "Come on! You can do it!"

God doesn't expect us to be perfect or get it right every time. He sees our hearts and he is always there cheering us on!

He loves us in the learning...

A few late bloomers...

The Best Year of My Life

The song, "How Great Is Our God" began playing on the radio as I was driving home from work.  Tears trickled down my cheeks, as I was overwhelmed again with the goodness of God.

One night, near the beginning of the year, I was given this word, "This will be the best year of your life." I let out a whoop and the crowd erupted in laughter! However, on the heels of that, I also heard, "The best year of your life doesn't necessarily mean the easiest, only that God is with you." As I pondered that statement, I thought, But God with me, IS what makes it the best! And it has.

I love my job. It hasn't always been easy but it has helped me grow in many ways and taught me how to relate to men. I love the interactions with customers. I've gained confidence in who I am and what I can do.

I love my church and the spiritual encouragement I get on a Sunday morning. The friends I've made have blessed my life and being a part of the healing ministry is a highlight. There's nothing like seeing people set free and experience who God really is!

Then there is Mom... and the nagging question, "How long will she be with us?" All summer there has been a steady decline and 2 weeks ago she ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. But she is home again and doing better than she had been for months.

My car still has a tendency to randomly not start and I really have no more answers than I did months ago.

No, I haven't seen all my dreams come true. There are still many things my heart longs for but knowing God's approval on my life is the best thing of all. It doesn't mean I always get it right or never mess up but when I do, he gently draws me back and sets me on the right path again. And I see him smiling down on me and saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

It hasn't been the easiest year, but He has been with me...

And the year isn't over yet! (I have this nagging suspicion that He still has some good surprises tucked up His sleeve.)

                              **************************************************

Sometimes blessings come in disguise...

I was distressed one day to come home and find a shortened mailbox post, minus a mailbox. Upon further inspection I saw the battered box off in the lawn, but the post was beyond repair. I must say I am quite proud of my new post, which my landlord put up and I painted myself. It is much better than the old one!

My Life

It brought a smile to my face when this showed up mid-afternoon on my desk. Anything to bolster my courage and strength on "fair" week. He didn't have to, but he did. Maybe I complained too loudly when it took hours and hours this morning to process credit card payments and new orders that came in over the weekend. Or he may have heard the weariness in my voice as I answered the phone yet again (although my good helper took most of the calls, by far!).

I've been preparing for weeks and, yes, months! The reams of paper and many toner cartridges which translated into thousands of brochures/pamphlets were stuffed into white, plastic bags. For awhile it only loomed in the distance but now suddenly it is upon us. And I remember why I'm glad not every month is September.

But it's not all work. There's the report that the boss gives every morning of how many sales were made the day before. The excitement when a salesman calls in for the next building number and you eagerly ask, "What did you sell?" And we all cheer when a non-salesman at the office (filling in for those at the fair) sells 4 storage containers in one shot!

At long last the 5:00 o'clock bell rang and with a happy sigh I locked the door and flipped the "Open" sign to "Closed". The guys gathered their lunch boxes and straggled through the office on their way out. A few sat at their desks finishing up last minute paperwork. At last it grew quiet and still I stared at the work before me. I had no reason to rush home. No one waiting for me to make supper. No one to tell about my day.

I came home anyway. Around 6. To my lovely house and a well-stocked fridge, thanks to my ambitious efforts on Saturday. I sat down to eat and listen to the sermon of the week, a message on "The Disciple of Joy". I thought it was odd since the sermon at church yesterday was on "Dancing/Joy". What's all this joy about?? It couldn't have anything to do with feeling sad all last week.

I haven't even finished listening to that sermon cause when I get the urge to write I have to do it NOW! And now I'm thinkin'... I'm gonna go out and dance. Like no one is watching.:)

Whether Here or There

Ann was working today so I had the privilege of eating lunch with Mom.

I'm not sure she even realized it was something unusual for me to be there instead of Ann. She knows who I am and that I don't live there but it can be confusing if I'm there when Ann isn't. She loves watermelon and I gave her a fairly large piece, which she thought she could handle. However, before she was done she said, "I think I might have to save some of this for later." But there was still room for a chocolate chip cookie, another of her favorites.

Today she willingly helped with dishes. Mom was never one to shirk her duty where dishes were concerned but more recently she sometimes leaves the table after a meal and goes to lie down, not even remembering there are dishes to do.

When the last dish was put away, she eagerly said, "What would you like to do?" I decided there wasn't anything at home that couldn't wait and told her to get out a game. I could've guessed which one it would be.

******************

This week marked the 2nd anniversary of Dad's passing. A dear friend remembered and brought me flowers at work that day - my favorite color with a sweet little note!

Today I walked past "Absolutely Flowers" and was reminded of the last time I was there - 2 years ago to buy flowers for Dad's casket. 

Although I still miss him, I wouldn't wish him back, for I know he is happy and free. 

***************

Whether here or there I will always love them!

I'm In a Hurry and Don't Know Why

I’m In a Hurry

by Alabama

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

Don't know why
I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do 0 to 60 in 5.2

Can't be late
I leave plenty of time
Shaking hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock

I hear a voice
That say's I'm running behind
I better pick up my pace
It's a race
And there ain't no room
For someone in second place.

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

(Disclaimer: I'm not promoting this group but this song has some pretty good food for thought.)

I have never really enjoyed shopping that much. I realized recently that I am often in a rush when I go. It doesn't matter if I have something else to do or any earthly reason to get home. I just want to get my shopping done and get out of there! This causes a lot of stress and frustration, especially when I get in a long checkout line or can't find a parking spot or the person in front of me is dilly-dallying around. It also blinds my eyes to divine appointments and opportunities that God might have for me to interact with people. 

It doesn't stop with shopping. I jump out of bed in the morning, spend a few minutes with God and gobble some breakfast before rushing off to work. I hurry to do this and that and the other thing before something else is thrown at me. At lunch time I sit down to grab a few bites, hurriedly saying a prayer, even as the first bite reaches my mouth. I rush home from work and slap together a quick supper so I can sit around wondering what to do all evening.  

On Sunday I go to church but have to rush home afterwards to quickly eat lunch so I can take a nap and wonder what to do the rest of the day. 

I used to laugh at Mom for clearing off the table before we were even done eating. I don't laugh quite as loudly anymore, for I fear I am more like her than I wish. 

But I AM learning to slow down. To really "live". To enjoy the moment. Savor time with people. Stay up late if it means connection. Play with the kittens. Watch the sunset. Smell the flowers. Listen to His heartbeat. 

Don't be in such a hurry to die that you forget to live.

Keep Asking

A storm was brewing and everyone was in a hurry to leave work that day. I was no exception and jumped in my car with thoughts of getting home quickly. There was a sinking feeling as I turned the key in the ignition and it only buzzed. I quickly grabbed one of the guys to help me before they all disappeared. Charging the battery didn't seem to help so a couple guys quickly rolled it into the shop, where it would be safe from the storm, and I took him up on the offer to go home with him till the storm passed.  

We found his wife and kids and another friend and her kids huddled in a bedroom in the basement. Tornadoes had been spotted and were heading our way. An hour or so later when we emerged from the basement, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. We were very glad the storm had passed us by without significant damage.  We went back to check on my car and it miraculously started! I went on home with a happy heart. 

But this was only the beginning of numerous incidents of my car randomly not starting. It happened 2 weeks later and only started when I was told to step on the brake. It ran for a day and the next evening wouldn't start. That time I got it started by shifting gears. After 2 weeks of it running smoothly, I was starting to relax, and then it happened again! I had read that the security system can cause issues with Chevy Impalas randomly not starting so I turned off the alarm system and it started right up. Two days later, as I was leaving work, I heard the, now familiar, buzz. I felt I was supposed to ask a co-worker to help me and he got it started after much shifting of gears. 

I don't know what is wrong with my car. It still isn't fixed but this is what I am learning. There were 5 times my car wouldn't start. Every time God showed me what to do, but every time it was something different. And the next time it didn't start, the word from the previous time didn't work. 

God works differently in every situation. What worked last time might not be for this time. Keep listening and he will show you. There is fresh manna every day. You can't save it up from one day to the next. Do you know why? He doesn't work by formulas. He wants relationship. He wants us to keep asking!

Keep your ear pressed against his chest to hear his heart for you!

Of Phone Cases and Proverbs 31 Women

For some time I've been wanting to get a case for my new phone. Today seemed to be the day to sit down and take a look at what's out there.

As I soon as I saw it, I knew... it was mine!

And God said, "This is who I am calling you to be, Pauline." 

Instead of shame and disgrace he gives me strength and dignity. Anxiety and worry are replaced with no fear of the future because I KNOW my God and my life is safe in his hands. 

I've often heard women say they don't like the "Proverbs 31" woman. She sounds unrealistic and unattainable. How could they ever measure up? But I've secretly liked her ever since I found the verse (22) that says, "...she is clothed in fine linen and purple." (As some of you know, purple is may absolutely best color!)

Verses 11 and 12 are also a goal of mine. They read, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm all the days of his life."

These are not things I do, but it is God's work in me. 

And as I sat here typing I looked out my window and saw this:

As if he was parting the clouds and giving me a glimpse of what is beyond...

Freedom - Part 2

Now my debt is paid

It is paid in full

By the precious blood

That my Jesus spilled.

Now the curse of sin

Has no hold on me

Whom the Son sets free

Oh is free indeed!

As we sang this song in church Easter morning, I felt a fresh touch from God. The power and presence of God was so strong in that place! And Pastor Eric shared a powerful sermon, never mind that it was the 3rd one that morning!

I LOVE how God shows up! He doesn't have to come, but He always does. May my heart be open to see Him.

You can listen to this song here.

Freedom...

...is walking in confidence in who I am in Christ, not living in past failures and believing I've been forgiven.

Yesterday morning this verse was highlighted to me:

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

As I was listening for the umpteenth time to the prophetic word given to me at the beginning of the year, here was this verse again!

Then last night at Missional Communities we were talking about what the blood of Jesus does for us. The leader was giving out references of verses for us to read. I offered to read this one, not knowing what it was. Revelations 1:5 "To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood."

                                                            *********************

I love the phrase of this song, "You don't have to come, but you always do..."

This week had some very difficult things, not the least of which was the funeral of a 10-year-old boy. But even in that, God was there.

I choose today to walk in the life and freedom He has given me!

Golfing

I've been out golfing! (Well, sort of...)

Sturdi-Bilt recently purchased a golf cart for the purpose of driving interested parties around the premises to view our buildings. Although I am not a salesman, I thought it looked like jolly good fun to take a ride and was watching for an opportunity! The other day it came! I was showing the new girl how to do fire extinguisher checks. The fire extinguishers are scattered far and wide across the grounds so we took the opportunity to take the golf cart for a spin. 

Wow! It's amazing what a small thing can do to lift your spirits and brighten your day! You're never too old to learn something new! 

What new thing will you try this week?

P.S. BTW, for you locals, I have it firsthand that there is a new mini-golf course going in, in Hutch! Anyone up for a game??

Seasons

Last week I got a letter from my sister. She wrote what her, almost 8-year-old said about her favorite seasons. I will sum it up here. 

Her favorite seasons are winter, spring and summer. When asked why, this is what she replied. I like skating, sledding and making snowballs in the winter. In summer I like to swim and in spring I like the flowers. Then she added that she likes fall, too, because she likes jumping in the leaves. 

She found something good in every season! I felt rebuked! How often all I can see are the hard, difficult things, the things I don't like. 

Seasons come and seasons go, not only in the natural, but in the journey of our lives. Some are filled with sunshine and flowers, others feel dark and lonely and we wish they would pass quickly. But in every one there is something to be learned and He is with us always. 

Whatever the season you are in, may it be seasoned with Him!

                                                                      

GRACE

THE GOSPEL

I heard a melody
That amazing grace can save
It doesn’t matter what I’ve done
I’ve been washed in mercy’s waves

Pre-Chorus:
And they say that love only comes to those who deserve it
And forgiveness only comes when you can earn it
But what do they know about grace

Chorus:
I’ve been saved by a love
That hung on a cross
It’s the gospel of Jesus
That rescues us

Where are my accusers now?
All I see is You and smile

You don’t have a stone in Your hand
All You have are these scars of redemption

Bridge:
Oh, the arms of love, they fly faster than I can fall
Oh, the arms of love, they’re in this room holding us

Believe me. I know.

You can listen to it here.

Back to School

I never thought I'd go back to school.

It wasn't that I didn't like school or that it was particularly hard for me. In fact, I have very fond memories of my school days. I still stay in touch with my best friend from 3rd grade. But still...I was just glad to be out and get on with my life. When other friends, in later years, decided to go back for more schooling, I thought, That's not for me.

But suddenly I find myself "back in school". Whew! I'm not sure how I even got here but I sure am lovin' it! My teacher...he's the best! He is so kind and gentle and when he looks at me with those eyes...I find myself melting away and I will do anything he does say. He rules with the rod of love and fear has no place. Every lesson is supernaturally and divinely taught. He doesn't make me sit in a classroom but even teaches through the watches of the night in dreams and visions. He will use a song, a friend, a word of knowledge, a Scripture, a quiet whisper to the heart, a prayer or the weight of a baby sleeping in your arms.

Sunday morning I looked out my front window and saw 11 birds sitting on the power lines. There were 2 sitting off to themselves, then 6 tightly in a row and the others were randomly scattered along the line. One lone bird was on the line just below. It appeared they were playing "Leap Frog". They kept hopping over one another and changing spots. And as soon as one spot was empty another bird would come and fill it up. Did they not like the spot they had? Didn't they like who they were sitting next to? Did they want the more important seat?

I don't know what was up with the birds but my most favorite spot is sitting at the feet of my teacher! That's just the best place to be! Sometimes he has to shove me out the door and say, "Go play!" But I know he will always welcome me back with a smile, let me rest my head on his knee and tell me another story. The stories! Did I tell you, he has the best stories ever??!!

Ice...

...can change your plans.

It's unusual to be sitting at home on a Sunday morning. I was disappointed that church was cancelled, due to ice. There is something about praise and worship with other believers that's different than doing it at home alone (although that is good, too!).

But it's been a good morning! I had a chance to talk with my brother and I also had some good texting conversations with friends. And now I have time to blog!:) Some of the things I've been thinking about feel kind of random and not necessarily connected but we'll see how this goes.

                                             *******************************

I like doing puzzles. Winter seems like a good time to pull out a puzzle and sit down with Mom, a sister or friend and chat together while fitting in the pieces. Sometimes focusing in on one small section is helpful. Other times looking at the bigger picture helps you see where this one fits. Some pieces don't look like they would go together when, actually, they do. At times, someone else's perspective helps you put the pieces in place. Many different colors make up the picture. You might have a piece you think is sky when, actually, it's water.

So often life is like this. Be assured God sees the bigger picture and he is fitting the pieces together. The finished product will be a beautiful picture, much more beautiful than we could ever imagine!

                                           *********************************

A friend of mine from grade school has been battling cancer for several years. I found out last week that the cancer has spread to the brain and treatment isn't working. Apart from a miracle, she will soon be moving on to her heavenly home.

I had to wonder how that would feel - to know you will soon be leaving. On one hand, the excitement and anticipation of finally meeting Jesus and knowing the fullness of His love. On the other hand, the heart-wrenching grief and pain of parting with your husband, children, family and friends.

Even to the end, Rose has acknowledged God's goodness. I want to be like her for I know deep in my heart that He is ALWAYS good, even when I don't understand.

                                          **********************************

This has been declared a "breakthrough year"! And it is!! We are only 2 weeks in and already I have seen much breakthrough in my own life, as well as for others. God is at work. Always. Letting Him change you is the best thing that could ever happen!

Ice... or no ice.

From the Day I Was Born...

...the Lord has abundantly blessed me!

The day after Christmas my sister and I were going through some old files and came across this newspaper clipping that Mom had saved many years ago. Even though I wasn't born till January 2nd, I was still the first baby of the year at McPherson Hospital, entitling Mom and Dad to $250 (quite a sum in those days!) in prizes from the local merchants. From baby shoes, to flowers for Mom, to a service job for Dad's car.

I didn't plan when I would be born but He did. He knew the times and the seasons, the people he would put in my life, exactly what I would need for today. I thank you, my friends, who are reading this today for being a part of my life. For helping me grow, to reach towards the Father, to know His love. Don't be sad or ever think your life is wasted. If he only used you to touch me, that would be enough.

This is the best time to be alive! God is at work TODAY! He is changing hearts and setting captives free, restoring relationships, bringing light to the darkness, healing hurts and wounds from the past.

He has done it for me and He WILL do it for you! I love being a part of His work!

Till the day I die,
Pauline