To Be Valued

Valued: adored, wanted, cherished, special, important, significant

Everyone wants and needs to be valued. This starts with valuing ourselves. 

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Not long ago I visited a new church. The speaker was a personal friend and had invited me to attend. When I walked in that morning there were many familiar faces and I was warmly welcomed. I took a seat near the front and settled back to enjoy the service. 

After the worship time and sermon the adults gathered in a circle for Sunday School. I was rather dismayed to discover the topic that day was singleness. I felt very self-conscious as I was the only single in the group, other than some teenage guys. I felt like running away and hiding. I wondered why I hadn't slipped out after the sermon and skipped Sunday School. It was then that I realized I still feel "less than" because I'm not married. I thought, Maybe I can slip out directly afterwards and no one will notice. I decided to stay, even though it felt very uncomfortable. 

The longer I sat there the more I realized that slipping out without talking to anyone was not what I needed. It was important to value myself and let others connect with me, instead of assuming they didn't want to. 

In due time, Sunday School was dismissed. The gentleman next to me said a few words, but then there didn't seem to be anyone else to talk to. I felt disappointed and slipped into my jacket. Just then a young mother, from across the room, intentionally headed my way. She smiled and asked if I'm going home, as she pulled up a chair to sit down. Suddenly, I wasn't going home after all, and I pulled up a chair, as well. She took an interest in me and asked meaningful questions. I felt seen, heard, and valued. 

A few days later a friend, who was also in that Sunday School class, asked me how I felt about the topic of discussion that day. He didn't try to "fix it", but quietly listened and offered comfort and support. Once again I felt seen, heard, and valued. I AM important, wanted, and special. 

Recognizing my needs and valuing myself led to a good connection - rather than running away and ending up feeling lonelier than ever.