On my lunch break I went for a short walk. My steps slowed as I savored the warm sun and cool breeze. The blue sky and white, fluffy clouds added to the beauty. It was balm for the sadness I felt once again. Sadness I felt for the loss of my mother, the one who had known me all my life...
She loved hugs and kisses and freely gave them out. One day she wanted me to give her a kiss but I couldn't quite reach her from where I was kneeling on the floor. A few minutes later she said, in a serious tone, "You don't seem to be much into kissing." I laughed merrily and assured that I was! Still she was not convinced and replied, "Well, you better show me then!" I proceeded to smother her with kisses, which brought a smile of delight to her face.
The last three weeks she lay so still, with eyes closed, not really talking or responding. Even in those three weeks I told her many times that I loved her and then would give her a kiss. One of those times, although she couldn't speak, she responded by kissing me back. That is the last memory I have, and one I will always treasure.
In life, Mom was always in a hurry. She always wanted to hurry and get to the next thing even if she didn't know what the next thing was. She would be clearing the dishes off the table before we were even done eating. Somehow that changed at the end. She was in no hurry to die. Many days we waited, thinking each one would be her last...
Life continues on...I can't stop it, but every day I'm more convinced of the importance of slowing down and taking time for the ones I love. Hearing their hearts, sharing the pain and joy, walking together...always towards the Father, whose love is greater than all.
It's been one of those days where sadness was swallowed up in love...
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