Wanted

I want to feel wanted.

This came up for me the other day when I was talking with a friend that is dating. I realized that one of the big reasons for wanting to get married is so that I will feel wanted. I think that is very normal to want to feel wanted, but what is keeping me from knowing that I am wanted? Do I want me?

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 it says that the Father saw the son a long way off, and ran to meet him, and embraced and kissed him. He was watching for the slightest turn towards him and then he took off running. I think we underestimate how much the Father wants us. And he's not looking for perfection. He doesn't say that once you get your act together then I'll consider letting you in. Or, if you do everything just right, never get angry, or offended, or sick, or discouraged, or disappointed. If you go to church every Sunday and pray every day and volunteer for anything and everything. If you always spend your money wisely and never eat just to get comfort. 

What if he is simply saying, "Come and sit with me, my Child. I want to walk with you in the process. I want you to know my heart and how good I am. I want to give you the desires of your heart. I like you even in the journey that feels messy, hard, confusing, disappointing and frustrating. I love your heart and how you are running hard after me, but if you stop for a moment you will see that my love is running after you. Every morning I'm waiting for you to wake up - to look into your eyes, brush the hair from your forehead, smile with delight. I love to sit down and eat with you and see you enjoying your food. I'm by your side throughout the day making sure you have everything you need. I tuck you in at night with a hug and a kiss. I'm ministering to your spirit even as you sleep."

"My Beloved speaks and says to me: Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away." SS 2:10

As I realize again how much the Father wants me, it is also very critical that I want me. If I don't like myself, I have a very hard time believing that other people, or even God, like/want me. At times it's important to say, "Pauline, I want you. I'm glad you're here!"