The Compassion Method vs. Narcissism

The Compassion Method has a self-focus that is not to be confused with narcissism.

Narcissism is an inflated sense of self-importance, excessive self-focus, constant need for admiration, entitlement, and significant lack of empathy for others feelings, often at their expense. (I don't like labels and I would suggest that someone who fits this description simply has unmet needs and unresolved pain.)

The Compassion Method, on the other hand, teaches you to be self-aware, how to work through triggers, and discover your true self. When you understand what is going on inside of you and why, it brings the clarity to get legitimate needs met and find healing for your heart. When you feel loved and taken care of is when you have compassion to give to others. Knowing your true self doesn't bring with it arrogance, entitlement, or belittling others, but rather the opposite. When your needs are met you are clear-minded, tender-hearted, and at peace. 

Many people desperately want to be seen, heard, accepted, and valued. They try, all day long, to give and get it from others and in the process neglect the one who really needs it - themselves. It doesn't mean you are more important than anyone else, but just as important. Putting aside judgment and self-criticism enables you to see yourself as a real human being in need of love. 

Here is a personal example: 

Christmas, we think, should be happy and joyful and lots of fun! Good connections and warm, cozy feelings with family and friends. However, when I woke up Christmas morning I didn't feel any of those things. Instead there was a certain sadness I couldn't seem to shake. The tears rolled down my cheeks unchecked. No amount of telling myself how good my life is and how much I have to be thankful for made any difference. After awhile I wiped the tears away, washed my face and "put on" a smile, bravely going out to engage in Christmas festivities. The day wasn't awful, but neither did it feel very satisfying. As soon as I walked in that evening the tears started again. Then I knew there was a "little girl" that needed some attention. Instead of shaming my "little girl" for feeling sad I took some time to sit with her. To see her, hear her, value her. I told her that how she feels is important to me. The next day I felt totally different! I felt happy inside! I was seen, loved, valued!

This can be you, too! If you want someone to walk with you and help you understand the process, you can contact me at pollymarie2003@gmail.com or 620-200-1279. Also, check out previous posts to learn more about "Polly Marie Consulting" (using The Compassion Method). 

To Be Taught

To Be Taught: belief you can figure it out, self-confidence, safety in mistakes. 

The other day I was observing a father with his young daughter, whom he had asked to do the dishes. 

He ran the water until it was hot and gave it a squirt of dish-washing soap. The suds came up and filled the sink. She bravely started in swishing, scrubbing, and rubbing the dirty dishes until they shone, placing them in the other sink to await rinsing. Meanwhile "Dad" went off to do other things. Before long he was back to see how things were progressing. He stood beside her with quiet encouragement, as he rinsed the sink full of dishes and placed them in the drying rack. There was a certain camaraderie and closeness, even without much being said. I felt a bit wistful as I watched them working side by side. 

To me it is a picture of the Father. When he has a task for us he doesn't just expect us to know how and do it on our own. He makes sure we understand what is expected and have everything we need. He has confidence in our ability to do the job, and doesn't need to constantly be looking over our shoulder. On the other hand, he is checking in with words of encouragement and isn't beneath lending a helping hand.

He loves process because he is relational and the more time we get to spend together the better. He is the best teacher and he does it by walking alongside and working together with us. 

As a child I didn't learn self-confidence, that it was okay to make mistakes, or that I had the ability to figure things out, but thanks to The Compassion Method I am learning it now. Compassion means "being with" and that is the very nature of the Father. As I learn to "be with" myself in the mistakes and messiness of life, I can then experience the beauty that God created me for. 

To Be Heard

What does it look like to be heard? One of the things I think of is to be understood. As I was reading in Psalms 139 this morning that was really highlighted to me.

"...you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind." Ps. 139:2b (TPT)

"...your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength." Ps. 139:6b (TPT)

I also thought of this verse in Isaiah:

"...He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. Isa. 40:28b (NIV)

There are many times we may feel misunderstood. Here are a few examples.

-    You get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic. What if... it's only because you're scared and it feels unsafe?

-    You get mad when you lose a game. What if... it's only because you feel disappointed in yourself, like you're not smart enough, and are "less than"?

-    You overeat. What if... it's not because you don't have self-control, but rather that you are feeling sad and lonely that no one noticed you at church that day?

-    You are extra quiet in a group. What if... it's only because you feel unsafe and fear being criticized?

When I feel misunderstood by others it often is more about not understanding myself. At times I even think that God doesn't understand me, but if you read the verses again at the beginning of this post, you will see that He does. Understanding why you do the things you do is the start to drastically changing your life! If you'd like help to bring more understanding to your heart please reach out to me at Polly Marie Consulting - pollymarie2003@gmail.com or text 620-200-1279. 

To Be Seen

"Every single moment you are thinking of me." 

Psalms 139:17 TPT

There are 10 basic emotional needs that every child has. 

1.    Being Seen

2.    Being Heard

3.    Being Accepted

4.    To be Played With

5.    To be Taught

6.    To be Protected

7.    To be Provided For

8.    To Know You Are Enough

9.    Being Valued

10.    Affection

This list is not conclusive and these things may mean different things to different people, but it has been helpful for me to identify legitimate needs. When these are missing in your childhood, it can negatively affect you as an adult.

Today I'd like to talk about being seen. (I may write about some of the others in future posts.)

I have a friend who sees me well. When she walks in there is a huge smile on her face and she gives me a big hug. She listens well to what I have to say, not only with her head, but with her heart. There is plenty of time. There is no judgment or criticism. She may just sit with me or offer wise council, when needed. I feel wanted, safe, cared for, comforted, and valued. I feel seen. 

You may not have felt "seen" as a child, but the good news is that you can go back for that child. It starts with you seeing you, the true self that has only been covered up by pain and unmet needs. If you would like to learn more about the process email Polly Marie Consulting - pollymarie2003@gmail.com.

You Didn't Miss It - the Door is Open...

 Come on in, the door is open... take a look inside...

A couple days ago my sister and I got a tour of our old home place when we were children. The walk down memory lane was very interesting!  I thought about how it looked when we lived there and took note of the upgrades. 

Back in the day, I thought it was a pretty nice house! Dad had a new basement put in so we moved the original house a short distance and then he bought a kitchen from the neighbors and added that on. We redid a lot of the walls with sheet rock, paint, and paneling. I thought the grey paneling in my bedroom was so cool. (That room has not been updated and I loved seeing it again!) The church down the road was upgrading their carpets, so we got some remnants to use in the bedrooms. The living room had a beautiful, brown, shag carpet. We had a new 2-car garage built and that was our bedroom for a time while the house was in the remodeling stages. I thought it was cool to sleep in the garage! The outside of the house was painted a lovely, pale green.

But now, the front door goes into the dining room instead of the living room (see picture above). They tore out some walls to enlarge the kitchen. The basement stairs go down from the kitchen, instead of just inside the garage. They tore out one old bathroom and put in a new one more centrally located. The stairs going up have a beautiful banister. The basement has been finished out with a large family room, 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. They put in central heat and air! (Back in my day we had fans, or we hung out in the unfinished basement.) This is just a glimpse of some of the changes. Walking through the house that day I wondered what it would have been like to live there with all the updates.  

This is a picture of my life. There have been many things that have happened through the years, some very beautiful, some not so great. At times I think I just missed it. It was just within my grasp, but it slipped away. Someone else got what I wanted. But I'm learning how to go back for me. If you would've shown me this picture of the door, I would've had no idea that something so beautiful came out of my childhood home. In spite of everything I've been through, there is beauty for me today. And there is beauty for you, as well! You didn't miss it!

P.S. If you're afraid there isn't beauty inside, I'd love to walk through that door with you and prove you wrong! Check out previous posts to learn more about Polly Marie Consulting and email me at pollymarie2003@gmail to book your session. 

Far or Near I'm Here for You

Polly Marie Consulting - Free to Be, Just Me 

I don't have a website just yet, so here is what I'm currently offering for one hour consulting sessions. 

Free 15-minute consultation (if you aren't familiar with The Compassion Method and want a snapshot of how it works).

Buy one, get one free! ($60 total)

One hour session at half price - just $30! (Regular $60) For a limited time only!

Or try a package deal - 6)1 hour sessions for only $150.

Sessions are online or in-person, so distance isn't an issue!

Feel free to contact me at: pollymarie2003@gmail.com. 

**************

It's so fun to walk with people on this journey of discovering their true self. What you do matters, but you matter more. What you do is not who you are. You are worthy of love, no matter what!

The Story of Two Cars

 Many years ago, in 2008 to be exact, I was looking for a car. I had just moved back from OH and was also looking for a job. One day I got a job and the next day I went out and bought a car. A 2004 Chevy Impala. It was much newer and shinier back then! 

I've never been really fond of car shopping and in those days I didn't really have anyone to go with me. So I went out by my lonesome. I drove around to the dealerships in Hutch, not knowing what I was looking for. I hadn't done any research, but when I saw this one I liked it! (I am partial to certain colors and styles.) I took it for a spin and drove it by my mechanic to have him look it over. Everything checked out and that night I went home with a new car! I was elated, to say the least!

It has served me well, over all, aside from a pesky starter issue that haunted me for years and didn't seem to have any resolution. And, after 17 years with 225,000 miles, I decided it might be time to start the search for a new one. Unfortunately, this search did not go quickly like the last one. In fact, I would say it started a couple years ago with varying degrees of persistence. 

That new car seemed quite elusive! I talked with different people, had a guy looking for me, prayed long and hard, did research, asked friends to pray, all to no avail, it seemed. And I worried, and worried some more. What if my car gives out before I find another one? What if it leaves me set? What if I have to put a lot more money into it?

Then one day I was directed to ask another friend to help me in my search. He was delighted to help me out and went at it with a vengeance. He found one in Olathe that seemed like a good option but was above my price range. He worked with the salesman to bring the price down. At last it was at a price I was willing to pay, but still I wasn't sure about driving 3 hours by myself to get it. So I said I'm not interested. 

However, a week later as I was praying about this car issue I felt like I was to reach back out and see if this car was still available. It was! I wanted to go that day, but had to arrange to get off work and that didn't happen till 2 days later. Would the car still be there?? I felt strongly that if it was for me, it would be, but, oh the suspense in the meantime!

The night before I was scheduled to go I talked with the salesman and he said it was still available. Half an hour later he texted me and said someone else was interested and they were taking it home overnight and would decide in the morning. The next morning he texted me and said their financing didn't go through so it was still fair game!

A coworker offered to go with me and we took off with high hopes. I let him take the wheel and settled back to enjoy the ride. The 3-hour drive was spent in friendly chatter as the miles melted away behind us. Before I knew it we were pulling in to the dealership. It was love at first sight! We took it for a spin, sealed the deal, and that night I drove it home - smiling all the way! A 2022 Toyota Camry!

And those are my "God" stories of my 2 cars! They are very different and yet so good. God likes to work with processes. I don't always understand the way He works, but I can be confident He is working whether it takes one day or years. 

I really liked my first car and loved that I found it in one day, but there is something about the long process of finding this one, that made me feel really, really loved and cared for when it did come. 

So don't despair. Keep trusting the process! It may not look like you think, but in the end it will be much better than you ever imagined!

Trusting the Process

P.S. I wouldn't have had to worry about selling my old one, either. Two days later it was sold and gone with more money in my pocket than I ever expected to get out of it. I must say I shed a few tears as it drove away. Saying goodbye to a 17-yr old friend pulls on the heart strings. 

You Prepare the Way Before Me

"You've gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past..." Ps. 139:5 (TPT)

This week I got a notice from the investment company that the interest rate is dropping. It made my heart drop, too. My mind started going down the old rabbit trail - they just do whatever they want, I'm just at the mercy of what other people do, how am I ever supposed to get ahead, why couldn't it go up instead of down, etc.But then I remembered how earlier this year God had directed me to pull a significant amount out of this account and invest it elsewhere, where I am getting a lot better return for my money. I also have another personal loan that renewed for 3 years at a significantly higher rate of interest. I started to smile as recalled the verse about God preparing the way before me. I didn't know the interest rate would be dropping, but he did, and had already made other provisions. 

Another instance I thought of was several years ago when my landlord, quite out of the blue, told me my rent was going up $100/mo. I knew they had been giving me a very good deal, but still, it felt like quite a jump. I was ready to panic, but then I remembered that shortly before that I had gotten a raise at work. Hmmm...this gave me cause for pause. Did God nudge my employer to give me a raise because he was looking into the future knowing my rent would be increasing? I think so.

It's not that God isn't taking care of me, but so often I miss it cause I'm focused on the rent increases and interest rates dropping, instead of the pay raise and better investment options. 

So wherever you find yourself today, know that God is preparing the way before you. 

Abundance - So Much More!

"I am convinced that my God will fully satisfy every need you have, for I have seen the abundant riches of glory revealed to me through Jesus Christ." Phil. 4:19 TPT

"Never doubt God's mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you." Eph. 3:20 TPT

"... but I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect - life in it's fullness until you overflow." John 10:10b TPT

"Oh, how abundant is your goodness which you have stored up for those who fear you..." Ps. 31:19a ESV

************************

What does it look like to live this life of abundance? 

What if, instead of groaning and rolling over when my alarm goes off in the morning, I would wake up feeling refreshed from a good night of sleep and excited to see what the day might hold?

What if, instead of dreading going to work each day, I would be excited to conquer any challenges that might come my way?

What if, instead of worrying about whether I'm going to feel good or not, I would be at peace and know I'll be taken care of?

What if, instead of being triggered - shutdown and avoidant, I would be engaged with people and confident in who I am? What if I would show up at work as an adult instead of a (triggered) child?

Since learning about The Compassion Method, a whole new life is opening up before me. Being more self-aware, understanding triggers & how to process through them, learning to give myself compassion, and get comfort has been transforming! 

It's so fun actually showing up to work as an adult. I know what to do in difficult situations, I know there are options, I know I can either figure it out myself or ask for help, when needed. Does that mean I never get triggered? No, but when I do, I can much more quickly recognize what's going on inside and return to my true self. 

If you feel like your life is lacking and you would like to live in more of the abundance that God promises us, I would love to give you tools to do just that. Check out my previous post: Polly Marie Consulting - Free to Be Just Me. You can contact me at pollymarie2003@gmail.com.

What People are Saying: 

"My session with Polly Marie's Consulting opened my eyes to the reason for the negative feelings I was experiencing. I learned how to give myself compassion and find healing for childhood wounds. The result is that I can handle difficult situations much more like an adult instead of reverting back to becoming overwhelmed and frustrated. The time and energy spent has been worth it!" - Lizzie

What Is A Trigger?

Triggers are strong reactions to our pain and unmet needs. Many people are scared or cautious of emotions, but what they are actually afraid of are their reactions. 

I used to think that when someone got triggered they got really angry or upset. This is one of the ways it can manifest, but it could also look like feeling shutdown, helpless, hopeless, terrified, out-of-control, trapped, frustrated, or annoyed. 

For me it can often look like shutdown and avoidance. In the past I often haven't even realized what I'm doing. Self-awareness has been a big part of my journey and is the starting point to be able to access and get healing for pain. These are some of the things I have learned with The Compassion Method.

When you are triggered your "adult brain" shuts off and you jump back to your "child brain". That is why it is so hard to think clearly and handle an "adult" situation. 

A trigger isn't bad. It is simply alerting you to deeper, unresolved pain. When you follow the feelings back to childhood and bring in comfort and compassion, it makes the biggest difference!

To learn more listen to this:

Triggered and True: What You Don't Know About a "Trigger"

A Surprising Discovery

I've always considered myself an internal processor - someone who needs time and space alone to sort through thoughts and emotions. 

But recently, a situation came up that needed a lot of processing. I found myself reaching out to people that I trusted, to hear their perspective and ask for advice, so I could better understand what it was I wanted. It was helpful to hear how others thought through the situation and have discussions about it. In the process I realized I'm more of an external processor. 

It felt freeing, somehow, like I was finally giving myself permission to be me. I remember so often thinking, I just want someone to discuss "stuff" with. A place where I could ask questions without shame or judgment. Where I was heard and my feelings were validated. A place that felt safe. 

This is the journey I've been on of uncovering my true self, beyond the person shaped by pain and unmet needs that so often shows up. There is a growing sense of inner peace, safety, and connection that is hard to explain, but so satisfying. It's the safety within that frees me to be me. 

For years, a dream of mine has been to be some kind of a counselor/coach/consultant. Now I know why! Just as I love having people sit with me and help process my "stuff", I love sitting with others and helping them understand what's going on inside. 

In case you missed it, check out my previous post about my new venture: 

POLLY MARIE CONSULTING: Free to Be, Just Me.

Polly Marie Consulting - Free to Be, Just Me

It's here! One of my dreams is finally being realized - the dream of sitting with people, connecting with compassion as they process pain, and rejoicing with them as they walk into the light and freedom on the other side.

Contrary to popular belief, how you feel is not only important—it’s essential. Your emotions aren’t something to fear or hide from; they’re powerful indicators of what’s going on beneath the surface. When you take the time to truly listen to how you feel, it can lead you to areas in need of healing and growth.

This journey isn’t about fixing what’s “wrong.” It’s about becoming aware, validating your feelings, and showing up for yourself with gentleness and clarity.

Here’s what you’ll discover:
 How to become deeply self-aware
 Tools to recognize emotional triggers
 Ways to process pain in a healthy, healing way
 The power of self-compassion
 How to reconnect with your most authentic self

This is an invitation to join me on the journey of discovering your true self and living the life of abundance that God created you for. I would love to sit with you! 

If you—or someone you know—would like to learn more or sign up for a practice session, just message me on FB, leave a comment here on my blog (to leave a comment click on the title and scroll to the bottom), or email me at pollymarie2003@gmail.com. For a limited time, I’m offering a one-hour session at half price—just $30 (regularly $60). Sessions available online or in-person. 

Let me know if you're interested or have any questions!

Loving life,

Pauline

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."  Ps. 34:5

A House that Speaks

At the beginning of this year, I decided real estate might be a good investment option, so I began the search for a house. A coworker of mine was very eager to help and would let me know the minute a new property popped on the market. However, the weeks and months rolled by and not a one seemed right. Either it cost too much, needed too much fixing, was in the wrong part of town, or didn't have enough "character". There wasn't even one that was close enough to go look at. I began to wonder if there was a house for me. Was I being too picky? Should I adjust my expectations? 

Still I hung on to hope and one day, quite out of the blue, it seemed, this house popped on the market. The next day my boss, who is a realtor, got me a showing. 2 of the other guys came along for the walk-through. It all checked out, the price was right AND it was cute! That afternoon I put in an offer. There had been 9 other showings that day and multiple offers had already hit the table. Things were moving so fast I could barely keep up! At one point I thought, I'll be just as relieved if I don't get it, as if I do! But with a tweak here and there, several hours later my offer was accepted. You might say I was mildly (or shall we say WILDLY) excited!

And here she is!

I'm not planning to live in it for now. I will rent it out and get the best management company ever to take care of it for me. 

This house speaks to me of:

1.  God's Faithfulness

    "...how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask." Matt. 7:11b

2.  God's Perfect Timing

    "He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Ecc. 3:11a. The people are in place to help me with         what I need. I don't have to worry that it won't be well taken care of. 

3. Issues of Trust

    Buying a house brought up trust issues. I had to go back for that little girl that didn't feel people            could be trusted and only then could I see how God has placed good men in my life that are                     trustworthy. 

4. God's Attention to Detail

    I wanted something cute that had character. And just as an extra bonus, 2 of the rooms are painted        purple! (Which, anyone that knows me well could tell you, is my favorite color!)

5. Joy

    Excitement levels have been running at an all-time high! "The Lord has done great things for us,            and we are filled with joy." Ps. 126:3

    

Dare to Dream

"No one is more excited when your dreams come true than your Father. He is paying more attention to your dreams than you are." - Danny Silk

I was listening to this sermon yesterday and it really resonated with me. Danny talked about writing your dreams down, so when they happen you remember. It was really interesting to make a list of some of my dreams that have come true. Here are a few:

Little house on the prairie!

Camel ride!

Ferris wheel ride with my brother!

Nanny for triplets in Ohio!

Train ride!

Living "up North"!

Touring a lighthouse!

New, matching living room furniture!

******************

"When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy..." Ps. 126:1-2a

Do You Not Know?

A Scrunchie, 4 Missing Digits, and a Humidifier...

Scrunchie - One day I couldn't find my scrunchie. I looked high and low, in all the places I could think of that it could possibly be, to no avail. I had many others, but still, none quite like that one. It continued to puzzle my brain throughout the day. That night as I was getting ready for bed I suddenly saw it wedged between the file cabinet and desk. I happily scooped it up and breathed a sigh of relief.

4 Missing Digits - Ever since I moved to the small town of Partridge, I have had trouble getting orders that were shipped UPS. For some reason the delivery guy couldn't seem to find my place. It being a small town, they often would drop my package at the post office. This was okay except for the fact that I had to stop by when it was open, which was rather hard to do with my work schedule. Other times the item might simply be returned to sender. It caused a huge amount of frustration. An interesting twist was that my sister, who lives at the same address, never seemed to have trouble getting packages delivered to her door. I compared the address I was using with hers and it seemed to be the same. But, alas, one day I took a closer look. She had an extra 4 digits tacked on the end of the zip code. I never knew what those were for, or if they were important, but I thought it was worth a try. Bingo! My next order arrived promptly to my very doorstep. I was thrilled!

Humidifer - I loved my humidifier that softly purred at night, spewing warm moisture into the air as I slept. It had done me well, but was getting old and tired, I thought. One night when I went to turn it on, it refused to light up and my heart sank within me. Shucks! I guess it has finally worn out, were my thoughts. There were a couple other occasions throughout the years when I thought it was a goner, but every time it came back to life. This time, however, I thought it was too much to hope for, as old as it was. Still, over the next few days I kept giving it a try, just in case. Nope! No go! 

Finally, I started looking online for another. The exact one I had, that I liked so well, was no longer available. I tried hard to find one close to it. At last I found one I thought would be a good option. I put it in the cart and went to check out. There I saw the dreaded words, "NOT DELIVERABLE TO THIS ADDRESS". How dare they! Inconceivable! I tried putting my address in, in different ways, all to no avail. 

This is where the sister comes in. I thought to myself, Maybe they will send it to her, since they like her better.:) Sure enough, when she tried it, she didn't get that crazy message. But, wait! This is where I took a closer look at the address and saw the extra 4 digits. So I went back and tried that on my account. It worked! Amazing! 

But I felt a check in my spirit and didn't hit "Pay now". We went on to talk of other things and that night when I went to get ready for bed I decided to give that poor, little humidifier one last try. I thought maybe the outlet wasn't working, so I carried it out to the kitchen and plugged it in there. The light still didn't come on and the motor was so quiet you couldn't hear if it was running or not. I didn't think there was any hope for it, but left it there while I went to take a shower. When I came back, 10-15 minutes later, the dear, little thing was steaming away. My mouth dropped open in amazement! Apparently, the light burning out, had not affected its other functions. To say I was happy, would be an understatement! I may have even shed a tear or two!

********************

This has gotten to be a much longer story than I anticipated, but what I'm trying to say is that God cares about the "little" things. I can get so upset and frustrated when things go wrong, I can't figure something out, or simply don't know what to do! I use up huge amounts of emotional energy and lots of time. 

Slowly I'm learning to take a deep breath, stay at peace and listen to what the Father is saying, such as:

"Why do you say, O (Pauline), and complain, O (Pauline), My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isa. 40:27-29 NIV

Through Your Darkest Night

The words of the song, "I Will Carry You" by Ellie Holcomb, keep playing in my mind. You can listen to the full version here, but these are a few phrases that stood out to me:

"I know you're tired, I see it in your eyes

All that anxiety that rules your mind

I'll be your shield when you don't feel like

You've got strength enough to fight

I'll stand by your side...

Through your darkest night

When you're terrified...

When you're hope runs dry

I will carry you...

You are not the sum of your mistakes

You don't have to hide the parts of you that ache

I choose you as you are a million times

'Cause I am not ashamed of you

I won't walk away from you."

***************************

I've been there. Tired from all the anxiety that rules my mind. Feeling like I don't have strength enough to fight. Terrified in the darkest night, when all my hope ran dry. 

Then he comes and says to me: You are not the sum of your mistakes, you don't have to hide the parts of you that ache, I choose you as you are a million times, cause I am not ashamed of you, I won't walk away from you. 

This is Jesus, but he uses people. For many years I felt confused. I was told that God is everything, that he should be enough. And he is, but his love is to be experienced, and the way we experience it is through other people. The people are there, I promise you. Sometimes the pain is so deep we can't see them, but they are there. 

The more healing I experience, the more I see the love of Jesus in the people around me. As I dare to open my heart a crack and let the light shine in, I am amazed at the transformation of love.

Thank you to those who have stood by my side when I had no strength to fight, who helped me thru my darkest night - when I was terrified, who chose me as I am again and again, who never walked away...

Whatever your dark night, there is love for you...

The Path of Life

 "Thou wilt show me the path of life, in thy presence is fullness of joy, at thy right hand are pleasures forevermore." Ps. 16:11

Some time ago a friend and I met at a coffee shop. We were both struck by this picture. My friend, who has an artistic bent, wanted to paint it for me. She saw it as a picture of my life. You will notice lots of light, but also shadows across the path. The abundance of purple and blue flowers! The green signifies life and new growth. 

But there is more! This week my friend invited me over for lunch. She wanted me to help her brainstorm about what I want in my picture. As she told me the things she sees in my life, I felt the tears well up. She sees the beauty, when all I can see are the disappointments, and encourages me to keep going. She helps me to dream again and speaks God's purposes and plans for my life. 

As we brainstormed, the picture and verses just came together. We laughed and shouted with delight, like 2 school girls! There was no one to stop us!:) I'm not going to tell you what more will be added to the picture, but I will post it when it is done. This is a start, but there will be more, so much more!

As I was leaving, she walked me to the car. She gave me another hug, said, "I love you!", and gently closed the car door. As I backed out the driveway, she waved wildly!

Thank you, my friend, for believing in me, cheering me on and delighting in me! I'm glad we're on this path of life together!